Luxuries.

I recently survived a remodel of a home. I say survived like it was a negative experience, but really, once we figured out that we should buy paper plates and plastic silverware instead of trying to wash the dishes in the bathtub, it really wasn't that bad.

With the new remodel I now enjoy several of the luxuries that I have never really enjoyed before. A garbage disposal... I never had a garbage disposal growing up, so the idea of simply scraping the (minimal) leftovers into the sink to have them magically disappear is pretty amazing. We have lights that can be dimmed. In fact ALL of our lights can be dimmed. I mean, in the end, just turning some lights off and leaving some on has more or less the same effect as dimming all of them from a practical sense, but is not nearly as fun. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, the grandest upgrade of all ... the ability to fast forward commercials with DVR. Oh yes. It was a very big deal. I never knew how many shows I LOVED to watch - HAD to watch until they were all able to be recorded, watched, fast forwarded, and delete afterward. I mean, I got to watch shows about girls becoming Dallas Cheerleaders, people losing massive amounts of weight, all without a second thought or scheduling glitch. I would do the remodeling all over again just for the DVR alone.

For the size of our home, (about 1,100 sq ft) our remodel was pretty substantial. However, I know that much larger remodels have occurred. In fact, there are some redecorating jobs that have created more hassle, and cost larger amounts of money than the entire transformation of our humble home.

I met the owner of one of these homes. His redecorating story has stuck with me in unexpected ways.

I met this man in my morning spin class. Tuesday, Thursday and Friday morning I wake up at 4:50am to subject myself to some of the most intense cardio exercise I have ever known. I pull into the parking lot where several people have already arrived, their vehicles parked in a row. If I didn't know any better, I would assume it was a luxury car dealership judging by what's parked there. BMW 15 series, Gnarly Range Rovers, Mean Mercedes, Outrageous Lexus, Escalades, and some fancy car I don't even know the name of but it looks like something a super-villain would drive to chase down Batman...

Very successful people wake up very early to workout. (I'm working on it.)

One man in particular is somewhat of a business savant. I don't have the vaguest idea what he does, but I DO know that he can make anything happen, and he has. In his late 20s he started building his business from scratch. He saw a need, he filled it. He saw a risk, he took it. If he met a challenge, he conquered it. This man is a genius. He has been named the smartest-business-man-in-the-state by the smartest business men in the state. As a result, he has the world at his fingertips; Paris for fashion week on Sunday, golfing at Pebble Beach by Tuesday. He has a beautiful wife of 30 years and everything he touches turns to gold including his car, his jet, his Phoenix mansion, and... the beachfront home he just bought in Laguna.

13,000 square foot home. The ocean out his back door. A plane to take him there whenever he chooses.

... I don't speak to the man much. To be honest, he scares me.

One morning before class started the topic of redecorating/remodeling came up and everyone was expressing their woes. This man was no different, talking of the challenge of filling his new ocean home with the necessary living items. The furniture to the curtains, the artwork and the area rugs, even the ceiling fans; it all had to be done.

As he was talking, one thing stood out to me. It was the ceiling fan. The ceiling fan for the master bedroom. The ceiling fan that cost $4,000.

A four THOUSAND dollar ceiling fan.

When he mentioned this, you know, as part of the conversation, I. stopped. breathing. I absolutely could not BELIEVE it. I mean, we had all new windows and doors (the energy efficient kind even) put into our home for the cost of his ONE ceiling fan. At first, it was pure shock. How could anyone even CONSIDER a ceiling fan at that price. How much better could the air flow really be. Then I moved from shock to disgust. Disgusted that anyone would be so, so, wasteful. So pompous. So unaware of the value of the dollar. Then I was judgmental. No one should have so much money that spending $4,000 on a ceiling fan is just another item on the redecorating checklist. I mean, I slaved over every decision at IKEA when picking out a serving bowl. Who did he think he was, spending that much?

Finally, I was mad. Just plain mad.
I wasn't sure why, but I was.
I left the lobby and went into the spinning room, clipped into a bike and waited for the class to start.

As the first song began to play, the instructor dimmed the lights until it was so dark I couldn't see my hands on the handle bars in front of me. She then told us we had a few minutes to ride with the lights off... ride with just our thoughts.

It was then, in the dark, that I became enlightened.

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I refuse to believe I would be the only one with that initial (and ongoing) reaction. I think many have felt this way at some point; indignant of someone else's luxury spending. Judgmental of someone's frivolous purchases. Mad. And while yes, jealousy might be a natural next step in this cascade of emotions, for me it was something more. For me, it was more serious than jealously...

This man and his $4,000 fan revealed a belief of mine. Something I feel at my core.

"People shouldn't make that much money." Or even more serious... "I cannot make that much money."

It is a belief like this that holds me, holds anyone, back from the success I ultimately desire. Do I need to make enough money to buy a $4,000 ceiling fan... No. But the fact that I don't believe I can is the problem. Money is the easiest measure of human virtue. Author Ayn Rand discusses that though some may say money is the root of all evil, they must ask themselves what is the root of all money? The answer: human production. I want to be a person who produces, who creates great things; I believe the same is true for many. Believing I cannot earn great incomes is, in some way, believing that I cannot create great things. That belief will never serve me.

We all have different thresholds, different self-imposed boundaries where we say "I'm not worth that" or "No one's worth that." It is the people refuse to accept these boundaries, refuse to believe them that create great things -- for themselves. For the world.
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By the end of the class I was dripping sweat (a good thing), and drenched in awareness (another good thing) of my own foolishness. I had been foolish to judge. Foolish to believe that I couldn't have the world at my fingertips, just as he did. Anyone could, if they did were willing to seek a need in fill it, take risks, meet challenges, and stop at nothing to make it happen. In that 60 minutes on the bike I resolved to, instead of scorn expensive fans, learn how to buy one for myself.

As it turns out, the price of the fan was actually a mistake. Before the next spin class, sitting in the lobby he informed us that when he took a closer look at the billing, the interior designer was REALLY bad at math. The ceiling fan, in the end, was still priced "above average," but less than four grand.

As for me, I am still thoroughly enjoying the luxuries I have thus far, and am open to whichever more come my way.