Beware the Buicks

Friday morning was a great morning. The kind of morning I believe they were singing about in the musical Oklahoma. The kind of morning where you just know you are living the life you were born to live and while yes, you may still be "in progress," you are endlessly excited about who you are becoming.

I have to say though..., this Friday morning it was more than just excitement I was feeling. I was overflowing. It was so intense it was contagious. I walked into Starbucks after my workout and I could feel people feel the glow radiating off me and I could watch it spread across their faces as they passed.

I credit gratitude.

It was the emotion of gratitude that was having such a measurable, profound impact -- not only on me, but on those around me. Gratitude has that rare ability, and let me tell you, I was feeling it. I was grateful for my health, I was grateful for my mind, I was grateful for my mom and dad, alll my friends, I was grateful for the great parking spot in the busy Starbucks lot. I was grateful for the inspirational song that was blaring from my car stereo and for the fact that I sound so good when I sing in my car alone. I was grateful for the kids in the crosswalk, holding hands, walking to high school, not at all aware of the fact that they were holding up traffic.

I was completely overcome, smitten, with gratitude.

Nothing could bring me down.

Then, I had to make a left turn. It was a particularly tricky spot for a left hand turn because the traffic from the east comes pretty quick around a curve, leaving little time to react. From the west there are a lot of opportunities for cars to pull out of parking lots, breaking up the openings when traffic is stopped at the light.

I waited, patiently creeping a little bit further out so as to maximize my opportunity when it arose. Moments later, as if the universe had ordered it just for me, the stoplight turned red to the west and the road was empty to the east. I started to pull out, grateful to be claiming my place on the road, when I noticed out of the corner of my eye a spotless-white-Buick screech out of one of the many parking lots between me and the stoplight.

In most cases, I would have gone anyway. The distance between me and the parking lot driveway was enough and would allow for it. However, the spotless-white-Buick had pulled out with such force, such speed, that I was certain it would smash into the side of my car (which has just been repaired from the hit it had taken two days earlier). At that speed, I didn't want to risk it.

Besides, must be some sort of gang member, robber or thief driving that vehicle. Only maniacs drove like that.

In the same instant I decided not to pull forward, the spotless-white-Buick slowed down to a crawl. And not like the baby-on-a-move, look how fast I am, kind of crawl. Rather, this was a -I'm crawling across the desert and haven't had any water in three days and I'm about to pass out or hallucinate- type of crawl. If I had known the spotless-white-Buick was going to take THIS long, I would have gone already.

Dammit.

I could feel the gratitude drain from my body. Then, as the spotless-white-Buick passed, I caught a glimpse of a little old lady, straining her neck to see over the steering wheel, curlers still in her hair. Behind her, from the west, was a stream of traffic three miles long, and from the east cars came around the curve like horses on a race track.

I. Was. SO. MAD.

Why did she have to pull out then? Why didn't she use her lead foot until she drove past me? Should I call the cops and have her pulled over for reckless driving --she was probably going 85 when she pulled out -- hey, Buicks go from 0 to 85 in .5 seconds ... I sat at that intersection for no fewer than 10 minutes (or so it felt), as I stewed in my own fury.

-----

In the book The Science of Getting Rich (one of my favorites) it says: in order to receive that which you seek in life – you must be in harmony with the universe. Deepak Chopra says the most effective way to get in touch with the universe is through gratitude. When you are in those moments of deep gratitude, that feeling that takes on a life of its own is your connection to the universe. And it is by means of this connection that you feel yourself as a field of infinite possibilities.

It makes sense. I was feeling it. We've all been there before; where our spirit and gratitude lifts us three feet off the ground. The only problem is I often feel like the child who got a balloon at Hardee's and as he walks out to the parking lot, holding that balloon he gets distracted - his mom calls his name, or his sister pushes him, and the balloon slips from his fingers and dances away across the sky. All he can do is stare, know that it's gone, and hope he can get his hands on another one soon.

I feel this way with my Gratitude at times.

However, in reality, we are not children. And we certainly are not helpless in those moments when gratitude escapes us. The most important thing is to (in honor of girl scout cookie month) always be prepared (I don't think the reference is quite right, but you get the meaning). For me, preparation means this:

-----

Since it appeared as though I would be sitting at that intersection for a while, I decided to take a trip. Travel back to a memory. In a moment's time I was standing right outside the San Diego airport. It was July, 2006. The sun was hot, and I could smell the ocean. I had never been to San Diego before but this trip was special for another reason; it was the first time Michael (my now-husband) had invited me to come. He lived there half the month and in Arizona the rest. At this point I wasn't sure WHAT we were; dating? exclusive? friends? I stood there at arrivals in my green dress from Target, my strappy sandals, and my blonde hair shifting nervously in the breeze.

When he arrived he told me we were going to Coronado Island-- where he grew up. I remember being so nervous I tried not to talk... when in doubt, don't.say.anything. The drive from the airport was beautiful as it wound through downtown. When we neared the bridge to cross the bay, I remember rolling down the window. The wind was wild. It was then that Michael reached across the console for my hand, and when he held it, I knew I was done.

In that moment, with the sun, the sea, the city, and Michael ... I felt gratitude so intense I couldn't breathe. And to this day, all it takes is that memory and I am right back where I need to be.

---

I will not say an "attitude of gratitude" is an easy thing to maintain. There are many ways we can be knocked off course. Unfortunately, for every moment where gratitude is lost, we waste a moment of greatness. So find a memory, a place, a person, a moment where you felt that connection beyond this earth, and let that memory guide you back to a grateful place.

---

Seconds later, I turned left, and continued down the road. Grateful.

"Oh what a beautiful morning, oh what a beautiful day. I've got a beautiful feeling, everything's going my way."