(To read about my 101 Goals in 1001 Days, go here)
I first learned the joys of sushi at The Mix in Las Cruces, New Mexico – a city known for it’s fresh desert fish. Though I was skeptical to try it at first, it was half priced. A graduate student at the time, half-priced was my favorite food. I started out easy; one. single. California. roll.
My life hasn't been the same since.
I. Love. Sushi. But not in that pretentious "Having sushi with the girls to see and be seen while I pick at some edamame" kind of reality TV way. No, it's more of a "Shove as much raw fish in my mouth as fast as possible before anyone notices it was even on the plate to begin with" kind of way. I could eat sushi every day and believe me, I’ve tried. Unfortunately, Michael only LIKES sushi so I my sushi obsession is never fully satisfied.
In November 2005, I had my first (and only) experience with making homemade sushi -- and while the sushi was ok, the evening as a whole did not go well (to read why, click here). I have not made homemade sushi since.
In an effort to challenge myself to cook more than just Lean Cuisines, I included on my list of 101 Goals in 1001 Days goals like:
#13. Master 10 Recipes
And
#34. No eating out for 30 days
And also…
#68. Make Homemade Sushi
However, as is true for many goals, achieving Goal #68 meant more than just the rice-spreading, raw-fish-cutting event I was expecting. Here is the story.
---
This year, the day before my birthday, I went shopping. I invited Michael to join me just in case he needed any last minute gift ideas for the big day. He met me at the Biltmore Fashion Park and we wandered through a few of the shops and boutiques. It was an educational tour. I pointed out things I liked and informed him of colors that looked best on me; coral, lemon yellow, and a specific shade of royal blue. We eventually found ourselves in Macy’s where he put his new knowledge to the test. While he chose teal instead of royal, and mustard instead of lemon, he did correctly identify coral. He found a casual baseball T shirt with three-quarter-length coral colored sleeves. I offered positive reinforcement for his good work, then moved away from the T shirt before he got the wrong idea… a baseball Tee wasn’t exactly what I had in mind.
On our way out of the shopping center, we made one final stop at BCBG MAXAZRIA.
This was a bad decision and I knew it. There was absolutely nothing in that store that I could justify buying on a whim, and I knew there was nothing in there that my money-conscious husband would consider buying EVER. However, I mindlessly made my way to the back of the store. And that’s when it happened…
I fell in love.
I fell in love with a little black cocktail dress created just. for. me.
I’m not sure if it was the funhouse – make your legs look waaaay longer than they actually are – mirrors, or if it was the three sales girls telling me that dress had never looked so good, or if it was the fact that I had just had the stomach flu and could fit into a size 2, or the little gasp that Michael let out when I stepped out to show him… Whatever it was, I HAD. TO. HAVE that dress. And I had faith that it would be mine.
You see, in the Birthday Department, Michael owed me. The year before, he had forgotten my birthday. Over half the day had passed before he said “the words” or sang “the song,” and when he finally remembered, he gave me a pair of flip flops and a bra (A bra that I had bought for myself -- but he put it in a box and counted it as a gift).
After many tears on my end and endless apologies on his, I gave Michael a speech he will never forget.
“A birthday is a day to feel special. A day to celebrate the fact that you are here, that you are you. A day when the ones you love let you know just how much they love you. On my next birthday, I don’t care WHAT you get me, as long as I feel special.”
---
As we left BCBG that afternoon and went our separate ways to our cars, Michael said he would ‘meet me at home.’ And though I could tell he was trying to hide it, I knew he was going back into the mall. I knew he was going back to buy that dress. I didn’t even care that it was the day before and he was only NOW buying my gift… the dress would be mine.
My birthday started out spectacularly. Michael’s first breath was spent shouting HAPPY BIRTHDAY at the top of his lungs before the sun had even peaked above the horizon. I smiled, I felt special. Then he took me to Starbucks. I found us a table as he ordered our drinks and when he came back he also had one of the mini-sparkling donuts I had been drooling over for months but never allowed myself to buy. He smiled. “Happy Birthday.”
In that small moment, I felt so special.
I couldn’t wait until it was time to start opening gifts.
I spent the rest of the morning at spin and yoga. There, they played my favorite songs and I hung out with some of my favorite people. When I finished, I walked to my car to find a single rose on the rain-soaked windshield.
I felt so special.
As I pulled into our driveway, I saw another rose awaiting me; laying on the rain-soaked driveway. Under different circumstances it could have been considered a little creepy but today, I felt soo special.
I walked into our home, excited for more surprises, wondering if the roses were leading me to a big dress-shaped box ,just waiting for me to open. Seeing no box, and hungry from working out, I opened the fridge. There was a rose. I grabbed a yogurt and went to my computer. There was a rose. I grabbed my computer bag to get the power cord. There was a rose. Michael had placed a rose on every stop of my morning-ritual path until I had a collection of 12. Even when I went to the bathroom to shower; I lifted the lid of the toilet … There was a rose in the bowl. Oh Michael. Even then, I felt special.
By the end of the day I was beside myself. I knew that this was going to be the best birthday ever! Donuts, roses AND the best was yet to come … I hadn’t even opened my dream dress yet!
That evening, Michael came home from work, his arms filled with grocery bags, a bottle of Pinot Noir, and a box with two (of my favorite) cupcakes in it. He announced as he set the goods down in the kitchen, “Tonight, in honor of the birth of my beautiful wife, we stay IN for dinner. Tonight, we make sushi.”
Wow.
The next hour was spent drinking wine, cooking the rice, shredding the carrots and cucumber, cutting avocados, slicing the tuna and salmon, spreading the rice on seaweed wraps and creating sushi masterpieces. We laughed and carried on and fed each other the pieces raw fish that weren’t suitable for rolling. Once the sushi was made and the soy sauce was properly mixed with ginger and wasabi, we carried our dinner into the living room, onto the coffee table, where we would feast.
This was my most special birthday ever, and I knew the best was yet to come.
Before we began to eat, I decided this would be the perfect time for me to open my gift – you know, so I could try on the dress before I felt fat from all the rice and salty soy sauce. “Michael…?” I asked in my sweetest voice. “Is it time for me to open my presents…?” The pitch of my voice got gradually higher as I spoke and by the word ‘presents’ it was so high only dogs and husbands could hear it.
“Just one second.” With that, Michael went into the kitchen, removed the cupcakes from the box and set them each on the counter. He then disappeared with the box into the bedroom. He emerged no fewer than 30 seconds later, still holding the cupcake container. He set the box on the coffee table in the living room next to the sushi. “Happy Birthday.”
I was slightly confused … even though it was a Size Flu (2), how was the dress going to fit in that tiny little box. Maybe he made a “Dress Treasure Hunt” and this was the first clue that would tell me to go look in the closet. I opened the box.
And there it was.
The gift Michael had gone back into the mall to get.
The gift I had been waiting for all day long…
A casual baseball T shirt with three-quarter-length coral colored sleeves. Price tag included.
…
Hm.
“Remember?! You said you liked this one,” his face was eager and proud.
“Yes, yes. I remember.” I was trying to remain calm… “Are there any more presents?” With that second high-pitched question I was holding out hope that he had purchased BOTH the shirt AND the dress in honor of (as he had put it) the birth of his beautiful wife.
“Now that you mention it …” (the angels began singing) “There is something else.” Michael went back in the kitchen and emerged, for the final time, with the rest of my gifts for my 29th Birthday.
Fancy chopsticks to eat my homemade sushi.
A Japanese fan to keep myself cool as I ate my homemade sushi.
A Japanese parasol to hold while I enjoyed my homemade sushi.
He was thrilled.
I was devastated.
I tried to hide my disappointment, but the rush of tears streaming down my face apparently gave it away. When he asked what was wrong, I blubbered something about him not caring about my birthday more than to shove a shirt with a tag in a cupcake box and hadn’t he learned anything from the year before.
… As I write that statement, I am once again embarrassed and ashamed.
In the moments that followed, a confused Michael tried to calm his irrational bride. “Kindra, “ he said, his voice soft. “You said a birthday is about feeling special. I tried to do that. All day. I’m sorry if I failed.”
It was then that I remembered my birthday speech from the year before; a speech he had remembered. A speech I had apparently forgotten.
“A birthday is a day to feel special. A day to celebrate the fact that you are here, that you are you. A day when the ones you love let you know just how much they love you. On my next birthday, I don’t care WHAT you get me, as long as I feel special.”
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It has been said in many ways; the good life is not measured in things, but measured in precious moments. Sitting there - a sushi feast before me, a wonderful man beside me – I realized that I had failed myself. Memories from the day scrolled across my mind: The early morning birthday wish, the donut, the rose after rose after rose, the sushi, the wine, the favorite cupcakes, the coral shirt, even the umbrella, fan and chopsticks for a full sushi experience… He had done exactly as I had asked, exactly as I had always wanted. Dress or no dress, I felt special the whole day through. He had spent the entire day showing me how much he loved me, and that is really the best any of us can hope for as we leave one year behind and begin another.
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Now, the roles have reversed. I will spend the next year apologizing, and spend my 30th birthday “making up” for my behavior on my 29th. But for that night, we spent the rest of the evening shoving ourselves with the fruits (or fish) of our labor, drinking wine, and whapping each other with my Asian umbrella. Homemade sushi had never tasted so good. And another Goal #68 was complete. ---
That was Monday, February 22nd. On Wednesday, February 24th, I went back and bought the dress for myself. Happy Birthday to me.
